When you need a familiar....
Somedays you just feel exhausted of all the stress and the weight that never seems to get off your shoulders. You seem to be always dragging your feet, struggling under a heavy load that you logg around endlessly... You start to think it's time for a break, only to find your load getting heavier and heavier...
In the middle of all this, you just wish you could rest your head on some else's shoulder. The night so pretty, the weather so sweet, but all you do is sit and remember...remember the- once upon -a -time- embrace that you found safety in. Something just doesn't feel right...not all shoulders are the same...not all make you feel safe, none seem to give you rest...Is it because your first love is done and gone that you fail to find rest in others? Did your sense of safety come from the love? the person? the naive illusion?
Are we ever able to completely bond with a person the same way we bonded with a true love in the past?
Someone yesterday said, the people of Israel were lost in the Sinai desert for 40 years, even though the trip itself is only 11 days (on foot.) They were lost because they kept thinking of Egypt, of the riches of Egypt, of the spices and meat they were used to eating...even though they were slaves... However, God's promised land for them would overflow with milk and honey....very different from the meat and spices they were craving....
Therefore, it was necessary for them to stay lost in the desert until they forgot the taste of meat and spices...
Sometimes I wonder if God has me chasing my tail to get me to forget everything I was used to the past 7 years, all the plans I made, all the ways I imagined my life, career, relationships and future to be.
In the middle of all this, you just wish you could rest your head on some else's shoulder. The night so pretty, the weather so sweet, but all you do is sit and remember...remember the- once upon -a -time- embrace that you found safety in. Something just doesn't feel right...not all shoulders are the same...not all make you feel safe, none seem to give you rest...Is it because your first love is done and gone that you fail to find rest in others? Did your sense of safety come from the love? the person? the naive illusion?
Are we ever able to completely bond with a person the same way we bonded with a true love in the past?
Someone yesterday said, the people of Israel were lost in the Sinai desert for 40 years, even though the trip itself is only 11 days (on foot.) They were lost because they kept thinking of Egypt, of the riches of Egypt, of the spices and meat they were used to eating...even though they were slaves... However, God's promised land for them would overflow with milk and honey....very different from the meat and spices they were craving....
Therefore, it was necessary for them to stay lost in the desert until they forgot the taste of meat and spices...
Sometimes I wonder if God has me chasing my tail to get me to forget everything I was used to the past 7 years, all the plans I made, all the ways I imagined my life, career, relationships and future to be.
posted by Critical Dreamer at 7:10 PM
1 Comments:
Very touching. I don't think you forget your first love, first touch or first kiss. It's embedded in you no matter how hard you try to "move on".
It's a struggle every person deals with, some of us give in to it, while others pretend to overcome it. But they're only pretending. Your first love will be your first forever.
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