For All us movie snobs out there...

and the ones in here...

Although "The Wedding Date" is prone to be quickly dismissed by movie snobs as a Hollywood scam, I beg to differ.

Being a movie snob myself I am almost ashamed writing this blog entry. But The Wedding Date somehow got through to me...through layers and layers of Hollywood resentment!
It seems that the whole reason this film hit home with me was two main scenes...and of course Debra Messing of Will and Grace for once proved to me that she can in fact act...

The first scene that kinda hit me, was after Kat Ellis (ironically) goes to Nick totally drunk and sleeps with him...wakes up the next morning not sure what happened...and when Nick sees that he tells her that nothing did happen...which was a lie. What got me was, opposite to common stereotype of men being insensitive about sex, Nick was hurt by Kat's concern and therefore said that they had done nothing the night before.

Sadly though, Hollywood has simply reversed the stereotype, and stayed true to the crass fixation on meat! The women in the film simply turn Nick into an object of sexual desire...just when I was thinking Hollywood was changing...alas!

None the less, later in the closing, the time from Nick finding out that Kat's sister slept with her ex. up to the last scene of the movie, Messing delivers great acting and Nick's character breaks the stereotypes that we're so used to in Hollywood.

Critical people such as myself would argue that Kat simply changed her mind after a brief pep talk with daddy and Eddie simply forgave too soon...but the whole point it seems that nothing is worth it...Coming from an escort service...last person one would expect to have such wisdom...I'll leave you with these words:

The hardest thing's loving someone and then having the courage
to let them love you back.


But if you know her shit
and she knows yours


and at the end of the day,
you still would rather give up than try...
nothing's ever gonna be worth it.

Maybe think about it this way.

You go back,

you get to spend the rest of your llfe
having really great makeup sex.

and of course the very next cut is Eddie running back into the church...to enjoy makeup sex for the rest of his life... :D

great discussion starter! I highly recommend it for your weekend...


The Wedding Date...

Dye My Eyes and Call Me Pretty

Alright so its a bit different from posting a prayer, but who said I'm perfect! right now, this is the one thing that gets my mind off of the stress.....

eeeeeeeeyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh

LAID
By James


This bed is on fire
With passionate love
The neighbours complain about the noises above
But she only comes when she's on top

My therapist said not to see you no more
She said you're like a disease without any cure
She said I'm so obsessed that I'm becoming a bore, oh no
Ah, you think you're so pretty

Caught your hand inside the till
Slammed your fingers in the door
Fought with kitchen knives and skewers
Dressed me up in women' s clothes
Messed around with gender roles
Dye my eyes and call me pretty

Moved out of the house, so you moved next door
I locked you out, you cut a hole in the wall
I found you sleeping next to me, I thought I was alone
You're driving me crazy, when are you coming home

JAMES.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70Uz-CC_9vw&feature=related

prayer from way back when...

I want to sing but nothing could express how I feel
I looked through my tabs and its all so unreal
So here am I Lord making it up as I go...

Renew my love for you
tie my heart to yours
help me confess my sin
and walk through that door
I want to please you Father
I wanna make you smile
but then my humanity kicks in
and my anger goes on fire

would you heal me from my weakness?
would you make me new?
I'm tired of the disappointment
yet I'm disappointing you
Take my hand Lord and help to stand
to be calm when angry
to extend love when I'm wronged
to respect when I'm disrespected
to sooth when I'm being hurt
to take it in and give it up
and let the wind blow as it may

Coz I stand on a solid rock.

Jan 10, 2004.

I Hope I Pray

This morning I wake up with heaviness of heart. A feeling I haven't experienced in a long time...its almost as if someone ripped out a piece of my chest and left it empty. I look around my room...my luggage are still on the floor...and my dressy outfit still lying on the bed...a part of me is refusing to move on with life...refusing to put away the cloths, to unpack the suitcases...to send the outfits to the cleaners...It feels as though I'd be wiping all the memories...sanitizing my space from any traces...

Yesterday the flower wilted terribly...in only one hour its blooming pedals dried up and shrunk...the only way I could save it was to gentle pluck the pedals and put them in a keep sake...the stem still sits on my dashboard...naked of any pedals or green papers...just a long stick seemingly ready to be tossed...

The separation is only temporary yet my heart seems to struggle this morning...I have many beautiful memories and gifts, I am blessed with much love and so many things to keep me company...yet I am holding my breath...hoping to get a chance to reach surface and breath.

If I hadn’t seen such riches
I could live with being poor

Under the Sea

Last time I was here I took a deep breath of fresh air.I had been holding my breath for 6 months, and coming back was like a fish back in its nice little bowl of pre-planned surroundings.

Only this time, i didn't reach for the fresh air.

It seems I had found an oxygen mask...grabbed on to it tight...

I have learned to breath.

Only a while after, I think I'm let go to that oxygen mask and learned to breath water.

The once dangerous surrounding revealed their inner beauty and I find myself having become one with the water. It could be that I've developed fins of sorts, purifying what comes in.

It could be that I simply let the water flow into me and stopped fighting it, stopped searching for air...and what seemed at first to be drowning, was only the beginning of a new kind of breathing.

thank you for being my oxygen...

a fish in a bowl of safe surrounds

thrown in the deep blue ocean

along with its toxic waste and hungry sharks

learns to breath the new water in and see the beauty as it glow in the dark

the corals glow did you know

but it must be dark for us to see the beauty that's to be found deep under the sea.

Finding Nemo...Finding Nina.

Past - Present-Continuous

The weather is beautiful these days. In the evening there is a sweet chill that calms your senses. I put on my pink blouse and lime-green scarf and went out, right while the sun was getting ready to say goodbye. I walked the streets of Zamalek leisurely, bought a bag of Maltesers…and as I walked around I looked up and there they were, two ladies having afternoon tea in their balcony. I paused, I was once that girl, sitting with her grandmother in the cool afternoon, chatting about those coming and going and reminiscing about the good old days.

I used to be that girl. I used to be too many things.

Then I walked over to church, there is yet another wedding. The surprise was, the groom was my friend. I thought he had already gotten married…I guess they were only engaged. The vibrant young couple came down the stairs, making their way through hundreds of congratulations. I saw so many college friends by the door, it truly was some sort of divine appointment.

and I thought about the years I spent in college in the States...and how I am left with one friend, only one true friend. I wonder if I wasted the best moments, the joys, the laughs, the tears, the exams, the proms, the breakups, the get togethers, the weddings...

I had been at another wedding last weekend...I ran into almost about everyone I've know in Cairo before I left...and I wondered how funny life is... Funny how some things don't work out...and funny how they do! I've seen couples we're known all through teenage and college years, after they've split up, and both seem happily married to other people...and I've seen the bride and groom who've been high school and college sweet hearts and here they are tying the knot!

I enjoyed the wedding and enjoyed seeing all the people I had missed so much...and I wondered if I'd get invited to such a nice wedding anytime soon...Those who were my close friends are already married, and those new friends are not that close, and those I used to care about are not part of my life anymore...

Funny how some things don't work out, and yet some do.

Last Sunday was the second strike, and I went to work as usual. We were having a performance that evening, at the Diplomatic Club in downtown, where Mohamed Ali Pasha used to have all his cabinet meetings. That morning, I must’ve hailed at least 10 cabs in those 5 minutes, and no one would head out to Dokki. The cabby would raise his hand and shake his head No, as though he was asking God forgiveness for even considering going to Dokki. I could hear him in my head going “astakhfor allah, Dokki?!” I called my co-worker: “is Dokki on fire? Are there National Guards and Demonstrations? I mean what in God’s name is going on? We’re talking about a 6 km distance!”

Finally one of those 1970’s Lada came by, two Hollakos were riding in the front, but no matter, I am at point of desperation. Thankfully, the driver said “etfadaly yea fandem”

As soon as I got in I reached for my iPod but something about the ongoing conversation pulled me in. The way the man sitting next to the driver was magical, his pronunciation was music to my ears. I had not heard Arabic spoken with such elegance for a long time. I could care less about the sick wife and the retired neighbor, after all I don’t know these people. But the conversation got really interesting when they starting discussing Metro rails in China, and their “troupe’s “ visit and how it went. My curiosity wagged its tiny tail…give me more. Despite my policy of not engaging with strangers, I decided I must ask. “Sir, what is it that you used to do before you retired.” The man gently turns and says “I was the Maestro for the Reda Dance Troupe, and Mr…(and he points at the driver) was a chareographer.”

My jaw dropped. Reda Dance Troupe! This guy has got to be playin’ me! I love the troupe, I know all their dances and memorize their songs and their moves! I was in state of permanent shock. After expressing my adoration, I invited them to our upcoming concert on May 15th.

A few hours later, I stood in front of many suits, in the presence of over a hundred years of grande history. At first it was amazing, I felt great. Yet as the night progressed, I found that my inspiration came from the waiters, who were dressed the same way waiters were dressed a hundred years ago. Scenes from Roda Kalby kept coming to my mind, and I wondered, if we were standing here 100 years ago, which costume would my closest friends be wearing? And would they have liked it?

Perhaps I do like the revolution after all.

Walk Like an Egyptian is More Than Just a Song...

Tonight I saw a man lying down the sidewalk in the street keda...not any sidewalk...one of the most disgusting sidewalks in Egypt...but the man was in a different world..traffic was jammed, people filled the street, but he was in a different world...he was gazing at the sky as if he was laying down at Central Park...he was probably searching for the stars in the middle of the coulds of polution that hover over Cairo....

but he was in another world...he looked peaceful...

and I saw a man carrying his toddler on his arm and holding on to bars in the bus, while telling his wife to follow him...he looked peaceful...

I saw a whole bunch of girls riding buses in the middle of the night...they seemed peaceful...they just watched people around them...I saw at least 8 full size grown ups get in a 5 passenger car, other than their children trying to fit on their laps...I dont know if they ever made it in!

I saw an old man selling snacks sitting on the bridge with another old man chatting...they seemed peaceful...

I saw these girls walking around in the mad medan el giza, they laughed and talked and didn't seem to mind the madness around them...they were peaceful...

and I saw me...in a nice car...with a driver and AC and music...and I was not peaceful...
I was struggling to accept the madness...and I wanted the peace that others seem to have in the middle of madness...

I know that I can handle chaos...others used to tell me that I handle chaos well...at least other Americans used to tell me that I handle chaos better than them...Well I guess I handle chaos better than an average American...but to handle choas like an Egyptian...that's a whole other game!

This is Egypt...everyone complains, everyone wants to leave...everyone blames their misery on someone else... but in the end...This is Egypt...it is traffic, its noisy, its chaotic...it makes no sense, there is no rhythm nor reason... but I look around and people look like me...they sound like me... I understand where they come from, where they hope to go...and I understand they are told there is no hope...

I understand the young guys standing at the bridge in the middle of the night because its too hot at home...and their father will nag them about getting a job, and when they look for a job they tell them you are not qualified....
I know the janitor, the busboy, the waiter, the office boy...
I know the bus driver, the maid and the guy at the market...
I know where they come from and I know they have no idea where they are headed...
Some want to do something with their lives and they are faced with one obstacle after another...

Some gave up and are happy with any small job...
Some had no hope to begin with...

But they live...they take walks in the middle of the night, they stand at the bridge...they sit around at the coffee shop and smoke shisha... they idle...Their lives suck...but they walk in the middle of madness, they enjoy the breeze at the bridge...they sit on two small chairs and talk of how the years have gone by... they try to all fit in a small car...they take the bus and enjoy it...

They are Egyptian.

وا حصرتا

People often ask me why I stopped reading Egyptian newspapers...well the reason I stopped is because in order to find out the news, I'd have to get El Ahram, skim through the titles to find out what they'd like me to think is happening, then skim through headlines in a couple of other newspapers..then fact check BBC to see if any of the major headlines is even factual.

and hence, I do not read newspapers...

Today my co-worker brought to my attention this article, written by an editor in chief of a major newspaper...
http://www.elosboa.com/elosboa/issues/547/01001.asp

I was enraged, not at the content of article, nor at the writer's case, but rather by the disgusting lack of professionalism in this piece. This man has broken every journalism rule known to mankind.
1- he has no facts.
2- He is labeling people and calling them killers. This man, according to media law, should be charged with libel and false reporting, and he will be convicted on all fronts!
3- Not only was he accusing people, he draggs the name of the Washing Instition for Middle East Policy in the middle of all this, presenting it as a Jewish lobby. Regardless of one's opinion in the role that the institute plays, it is a research institute, its main concern is academic. For a man of academia to visit it and have a discussion of middle eastern affairs is perfectly normal.

I am really enraged! Even though I slightly agree with the writer's theory, it is a theory. WE DO NOT REPORT THEORIES IN JOURNALISM. WE ONLY REPORT FACTS.

It is a crime for such a person to be an editor in chief.